The magic kind, not the 1/8 ounce kind, although they could have a metric fuckton of cocaine and I would never know, so I guess I shouldn't make declarative statements like that.
I got back from my trip to Italy, and I should want to blog about that, but I find myself fascinated by the ads Facebook has targeted to my demographic. Facebook thinks I'm an underpaid, 30-something New Yorker who loves yoga, Botox, drumming and wants to be a ninja. All of that is true except for the Botox and the yoga. I love the idea of yoga. I even do a half-assed Sun Salutation every once in awhile. I should be all over yoga like Botox on The Real Housewives of Orange County, but I can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time, let alone on my own breathing. I mean, that's the whole point of having an autonomic nervous system, so I don't have to worry about that stuff.
I clicked the ad that promised me jobs that pay $92 an hour for part-time work, because the only jobs like that that I'm qualified for require monthly VD testing. I turned back when I got to a page that said the offer would expire if I didn't send them my name, address and phone number in 14 minutes and 30 seconds.
I don't need that kind of pressure.
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What about stand up comic? You're hysterical!
ReplyDeleteMisty pointed me at your site. Love it! Especially the story about the iron pipe. Way to go, Devon!
Welcome to my blog!
ReplyDeleteDevon has magical security elves who protect him. He managed to get a Swiss army knife into the Vatican.
It's because he looks so harmless. Kind of absentminded professor-ish.
ReplyDeleteFB keeps giving me ads about losing weight, hair, and botox. Apparently I am fat, hairy AND wrinkly! Why aren't I dead yet?! ARGH! Way to go, FB! Play on body insecurities of females in my age range! Woo!