Monday, January 5, 2009

Facebook has an 8 ball

The magic kind, not the 1/8 ounce kind, although they could have a metric fuckton of cocaine and I would never know, so I guess I shouldn't make declarative statements like that.

I got back from my trip to Italy, and I should want to blog about that, but I find myself fascinated by the ads Facebook has targeted to my demographic. Facebook thinks I'm an underpaid, 30-something New Yorker who loves yoga, Botox, drumming and wants to be a ninja. All of that is true except for the Botox and the yoga. I love the idea of yoga. I even do a half-assed Sun Salutation every once in awhile. I should be all over yoga like Botox on The Real Housewives of Orange County, but I can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time, let alone on my own breathing. I mean, that's the whole point of having an autonomic nervous system, so I don't have to worry about that stuff.

I clicked the ad that promised me jobs that pay $92 an hour for part-time work, because the only jobs like that that I'm qualified for require monthly VD testing. I turned back when I got to a page that said the offer would expire if I didn't send them my name, address and phone number in 14 minutes and 30 seconds.

I don't need that kind of pressure.

3 comments:

  1. What about stand up comic? You're hysterical!

    Misty pointed me at your site. Love it! Especially the story about the iron pipe. Way to go, Devon!

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  2. Welcome to my blog!

    Devon has magical security elves who protect him. He managed to get a Swiss army knife into the Vatican.

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  3. It's because he looks so harmless. Kind of absentminded professor-ish.

    FB keeps giving me ads about losing weight, hair, and botox. Apparently I am fat, hairy AND wrinkly! Why aren't I dead yet?! ARGH! Way to go, FB! Play on body insecurities of females in my age range! Woo!

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