Friday, March 20, 2009

World of Warcraft is a lie

After Vista choked long and hard on Lord of the Rings Online, I decided to go with WoW. I mean, 10 million geeks can't be wrong, right? The level-10 Night Elf hunter I built during my trial period was fun. You've gotta love a chick in tight leather with thighs big enough to crush tanks like Dixie cups. At the end of my trial period, I was ready to pay for the privilege of spending many happy hours traveling back to my rapidly cooling corpse. Then I discovered the truth: There is no game. World of Warcraft was replaced with World of Patchcraft, which lets me spend many happy hours watching shit download.

Oh, look at that, my pet gets its own tree now. LIES! There is no pet. There is no tree. There is only WoP.

It took three days to download all the patches, as I had to take care of it before and after work, and then our Intarweb was down for a full day and a half before Devon recited some mystical incantation to make it work again.

I keep telling myself that it will happen, that I will play someday. I really like skinning dead things, which should come as a surprise to no one.


  1. Why in the name of all of Sauron's minions are you running Vista???

  2. It came preloaded in my new Dell, and they wanted to charge me more to downgrade to XP.

  3. I blame Vista for everything. I eventually had to pave it over with good old XP in order to make my Warcraft work. Pwnage.

    Imagine having to download those patches twice. (Shudder.)

  4. I'm telling you, you should pay for the "downgrade". Vista is for masochists.

    And WOW? Rocks. You can play with US! Woo!

    And skinning things is terribly satisfying in a creepy sort of way. Ssshhhhhick! Shhhhick! Shhhhhiick!

  5. I have proudly been playing World of Patch for five years now, and I can tell you that the very best part about it is how easily it allows you to accomplish other tasks while it patches!!

    What other game lets you work, parent, watch dollhouse, read a book, cook a roast, etc while it loads!!

    It's awesome!!