Tuesday, December 2, 2008

My boyfriend is probably a serial killer

And I'm OK with that. It's important to support each other's goals. I just wish he'd be open about it. It's difficult to build a foundation of trust when one person won't 'fess up about where he hides the bodies. He keeps insisting he's not a serial killer, but he probably just thinks I'll be mad if I find out.

We blew our way through season 1 of "Dexter," and he spent a lot of time waxing poetic about collecting hobo fingers. But I don't think he really kills hobos. That's just silly. Where would he even find hobos around here? Homeless people in New York don't actually go anywhere: They just ride the trains up and down the line until they die or are chased off by The Man.

No, I think he kills people who double park. When he has to swerve around someone parked in a lane of traffic, he takes on a kind of killer glow, like neon rage.

Devon, if you're reading this, it's totally OK to be a serial killer. You gotta be you.

4 comments:

  1. I have to agree with you. Devon most likely is a serial killer, as is Lee.

    Luckily they have the two women in the world who really don't mind, so long as their killing people we agree need the death.

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  2. Now, if only they'll cop to it. I could really be helpful in that area.

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  3. what the hell? i think my "boyfriend" is a serial killer too. but he might just be a freak...whatever he's cute in an extremely morose, disturbing way. sorry i have no clue who u are i was just kinda scared for my life, and google has always been there to help me through the rough times.

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  4. Welcome to my blog, and I hope you'll stick around, because I'm a low-key attention whore, which is why I have a blog and not a strip pole. If you start finding bodies, search them for cash first before calling the cops, if you intend to call the cops. That's pretty much all the advice I have.

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