Tuesday, December 2, 2008

My boyfriend is probably a serial killer

And I'm OK with that. It's important to support each other's goals. I just wish he'd be open about it. It's difficult to build a foundation of trust when one person won't 'fess up about where he hides the bodies. He keeps insisting he's not a serial killer, but he probably just thinks I'll be mad if I find out.

We blew our way through season 1 of "Dexter," and he spent a lot of time waxing poetic about collecting hobo fingers. But I don't think he really kills hobos. That's just silly. Where would he even find hobos around here? Homeless people in New York don't actually go anywhere: They just ride the trains up and down the line until they die or are chased off by The Man.

No, I think he kills people who double park. When he has to swerve around someone parked in a lane of traffic, he takes on a kind of killer glow, like neon rage.

Devon, if you're reading this, it's totally OK to be a serial killer. You gotta be you.


  1. I have to agree with you. Devon most likely is a serial killer, as is Lee.

    Luckily they have the two women in the world who really don't mind, so long as their killing people we agree need the death.

  2. Now, if only they'll cop to it. I could really be helpful in that area.

  3. what the hell? i think my "boyfriend" is a serial killer too. but he might just be a freak...whatever he's cute in an extremely morose, disturbing way. sorry i have no clue who u are i was just kinda scared for my life, and google has always been there to help me through the rough times.

  4. Welcome to my blog, and I hope you'll stick around, because I'm a low-key attention whore, which is why I have a blog and not a strip pole. If you start finding bodies, search them for cash first before calling the cops, if you intend to call the cops. That's pretty much all the advice I have.