Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I'm here to pump -- me up!

With my 31st birthday a little over a week away, I've decided to try to arrest the march of time by getting myself a gym membership. Today, I bask in new-gym euphoria. I'm going to go five days a week! I'm going to do yoga and take belly-dancing classes! I'm going to learn kickboxing! I'm going to look svelte and strong and totally fucking awesome by June! Right after I finish this beer!

I had to do something. Moving in with Devon, I packed on 10 pounds. Since August. Because he ties me to a chair and force-feeds me lard and vegetable oil-infused vodka. I've lost 6 of those pounds, but if I want to eat his tasty omelets, I need to get moving.

I'm writing all this here in the hopes that public shame will motivate me. If I don't do these things, you all get to point and laugh and mock me for being a lazy-ass.

Let it be known I did it all for the omelets.


  1. Welcome to the thirty-something metabolism. Sucks, don't it?

  2. Yeah. I remember when I was 17 and I ate an entire box of Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies at a sleepover. It wasn't good for me, but I didn't gain any weight, either.

    Mostly, though, I think I just need to adjust my eating habits to living with someone again. Believe it or not, it helps that we don't eat together during the week. I can portion more carefully. I'm using my birth mother as my motivation...I don't wanna look like that at 60! :)

  3. yo i think i was at said sleepover. nevermind how many cans of soda we drank. be thankful you don't have a stupid immune disease... after i got diagnosed with celiac i gained like 25 pounds in about 6 months. and needless to say, it ain't going anywhere. but i support you! we should send each other workout music mixes.