Monday, July 13, 2009

I draw the line at zombie plagues

I'm fine with killing hobos. Someone's gotta do it. But even I have my limits, and those limits are at forcing people into PCP-induced homicidal rages.

This is Devon's great plan in life in case the whole computer thing turns out to be a fad. It'll take him about 10 years to develop the biochemical background necessary to turn normal, mild-mannered citizens of earth into flesh-eating machines of death, but things could move fast, so I gotta be ready.

I'm considering creating the hippie plague, where people wander around all mellow and eating cheezy poofs and stuff.

Also, if you have any ideas for a freakin' awesome and dirt-cheap wedding, let me know. Winner gets an invitation.


  1. Zombies will turn on you. Hippies won't.

    Cheap wedding? City Hall, a keg of Rolling Rock, and Domino's.

  2. mmmm dominos...i'll make cookies and assorted baked you'll save money on a cake...any parks in the area where you can just crash and stuff??? and btw, i heard this zombie plague pcp shit...devon needs to get his ass smacked and when the zombies eat his brain, it won't be my fault.

  3. I don't know where you went to school, but Amy and I got rock bottom discount prices at everything for my being a university employee (but Alumni got the same discount). Something stupid like $300 for the entire reception hall + all the tables, chairs and place settings. The catering and alcohol and all that was also pretty reasonable.

  4. Have a hobo preacher do it with hobo caterers at the back of a Denny's during Cannibal Appreciation Week while wearing the skin of the elderly for a tux and bridal gown. Use Jamaican jerk hairgel on the floral pins for all your guests. Zero waste, and, with no clothes left, you're ready to fuck on a bed of the bones of your loved ones.
    Sweet Loki, my nethers are already tingly.

  5. Well, it depends on whether you want a *wedding* or just a reception. The big spectacle or the big party? Or both? If you want cheap, do the JP, just the two of you and witnesses, then do a giant potluck at a willing friend's house. Rent a bunch of tables and chairs and maybe provide some cake. Or cupcakes. : )